The structure of Transformers names not only opens them up to parody, but also to a certain form of sexual parody. Let’s say somewhere fanfic, artwork and videos most certainly exist with these robots getting it on, or “Knockin’ pistons” as they might say, with all sorts of extraneous apparatus attached to their normally sexless bodies. If it hasn’t been an adult comedy sketch, it should be.
One of my personal fanfic favorites comes from the fanfic repository Archive of Our Own, which is known for liberal inclusion policies regarding sexual themes. The Domesticus series, authored by femme4jack, Saikiku, HopeofDawn, and TheFractured, offers a ton of them: rape, nonconsensual sex, hand jobs, oral sex, robot sex, threesomes, anal plugs, needles, forced orgasm, sexual slavery, torture, bodily fluids, size kink, violence, transformation, chemical warfare, voyeurism, blood, transforming butt plug (!), castration, fisting, and electrical torture.
It’s more of a hardcore porn and fetish technosex fanfic than a coherent novella, but a heady one. The Domesticus universe is loosely based on the Transformers cartoons and action movies and posits a dystopian future where a shattered Earth is ruled by Decepticons who enslave young human males to service their oily lusts. The robots being huge and the humans small, there’s a lot of ingenuity shown in getting the pistons going. I can’t tell if the authors are being 100% serious about what they write, or are laughing about pulling our collective legs. Either way it’s positively filthy, and also hilarious.
Before each chapter is a pseudo-serious excerpt from a human pet brochure written for the robot owner’s benefit:
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Homo sapiens domesticus: care and feedingLike any organics, Homo sapiens domesticus specimens require specialized fuel, atmosphere, and temperature ranges; however they are among the easiest organics to maintain on Cybertron. Fuel cubes are available at nominal cost. Unadulterated dihydrogen oxide must always be provided in liquid phase, but a proper enclosure is designed to purify and recycle approximately 97 percent of this water. Humans may be kept in groups of three or more; attempting to maintain a single human by itself is not recommended. |
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How can one not love a sense of humor like that?
Should the Transformers ever get around to producing their own adult movies, the actors in them would probably have names like these.
NSFW Transformers
| Hotpinch
Tyrannowench Ultrasnatch Dynotitty Doubledong Synthescrew Battlehooker Thunder-69 Bladewhore Gigahips Cybercock Giganads Interthrust Slutwarp Meatjet Front Loader |
Steady Shot
Thigh-Tech Crybondo Nipplescan Sky-Ho! Porniron Moonsprayer Electrobitch Suckshot Phallustine Buttplugger Assitude Pussypunt Hot Piston Panzersnatch Kinetic Tickler |
