Worldbuilding Wednesday 12/14/22: Christmas Traditions Around the World

 

Christmas can be a pretty bizarre holiday, being as it’s conglomeration of pagan, Catholic, and secular traditions. In the Catalan region of Spain, for example, there’s the traditional of the Caga Tio, or shitting log, that is stuffed with presents and hit like a pinata on Christmas Eve until it gives them up. Related to this is the Nativity figurine known as the Caganer, or Pooper, who is depicted with their pants down about to do #2. Supposedly he conveys the idea that God’s call can come to anyone, anywhere, even while they’re taking a crap.

From Oaxaca, Mexico comes the Festival of the Radishes, which takes place on December 23rd. All year radishes are grown to enormous size and then carved into artistic creations which are displayed in the town square. After which, I hope, they simmer in bowls of hot pozole.

In the U.S. look no further than the department store Santa for a bizarre tradition. A typical one is seen in the 1983 movie A Christmas Story. There’s also humor writer David Sedaris’s account of his time spent as a Macy’s department store elf in his monologue The Santaland Diaries. A newer tradition is the Elf on the Shelf which, though it seems a relic of an earlier time by the concept and design, actually dates from 2005.

AI creations can’t hold a candle to anything like this in real life. But from randomly generated pictures  I came up with these.

 

Some could-be-real Christmas traditions from around the world

Poland:  Santa wears a black cossack hat and plays a drum shaped like a giant dog’s paw.

Mexico:  Effigies of Papa Noel (Santa Claus) are built out of chili peppers and the Christmas trees are dyed red.

Argentina:  Christmas trees are set up outside local shops and then set on fire.

South Africa: Termite mounds are dressed up as Santa and native dancers dressed as snowmen perform.

Vladivostok, Russia: Santa leads a pantomime camel decorated with Christmas lights through the streets.

The Australian Outback: Santa rides in an old wooden truck and a traditional Aboriginal feast is set up outside.

Basque Region, Spain:  A 10-foot high “Christmas Tower” resembling a giant ornament or UFO is constructed. It requires ten people inside to parade it through the streets accompanied by townspeople. A favorite attraction of the tourists.

Quebec, Canada:  A single “Mother Christmas” sings carols in front of the mayor’s mansion.

Walla Walla, Washington: Santa rides a miniature dirtbike into town with his helper. He fires off his hunting rifle at each house.

Taos, New Mexico: Dogs are dressed up as reindeer and Santa wears a Native American inspired costume.

 

Medusa Christmas Cookies

Heavy on the chocolate and glitter!

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 12/7/22: Magic Spells of Ancient Egypt

As far as we know, most of the magic spells of ancient Egypt dealt with protecting the dead on their journey to the afterlife. Amulets were concealed in mummy wrappings and spell-prayers carved in hieroglyphics all around the tombs — on the walls, columns, even ceilings. These people took their afterlife very seriously.

As I said in my previous post, it’s logical that clerical powers and magic overlapped to a certain extent. Here’s a selection of spells that priests and mages both might have used.

 

Magic Spells of Ancient Egypt

Agility of Wadjet: Lets the caster dodge spells, blows, and missiles with the quickness of the cobra goddess Wadjet.

Animate Melon: This easy to learn, low-level spell lets the caster control the movement of a melon up to watermelon-size, making it roll, bounce, and sail through the air. Larger melons have a good chance of knocking a target out cold if it hits their head.

Dust Eclipse: A powerful spell that whips up dust from the desert and uses it to blot out the sun in the caster’s immediate area.

Embalm Fetid Corpse: It’s extremely unpleasant for mummifiers to work with a corpse that has begun to decay. This spell neutralizes the odors so their job is more pleasant.

Gather Ka: If any loose souls are in the area this spell will bring them together.

Grow Rushes: Makes rushes (water reeds) at a shore’s surface grow as tall as trees. The spell can be reversed to shrink them so they are no larger than blades of grass.

Halt Griffin: Stops griffins in their tracks as if an invisible wall has been placed before them.

Hammerwhistle: Makes a metalsmith’s hammer whistle every time it strikes a blow. Each whistle will attract an onlooker who will feel compelled to help the smith in some way.

Hands of Isis: This spell makes the caster’s hands unusually beautiful: shapely, graceful, and decorated with henna. It’s sure to add to a female character’s charisma.

Humiliation of Tawaret: Tawaret was the goddess of childbirth and was depicted as having the head of a hippopatomus. This spell was designed for female mages to cast on a rival, making the enemy gain three times their body weight in pure fat.

Hymn of Flight: When chanted, it lets the magic user fly through the air with the agility of a bird. If the chanting is interrupted, however, the user falls.

Mummify Perfume Cone: Perfume cones were worn by the Egyptian elite to scent themselves. Animal fat, most likely, was mixed with spices and scents and the whole worn on top of the head, often over a wig. As the cone melted in Egypt’s heat it scented the scalp of the wearer and conditioned their hair as well. But, being made of fat, the comes could not be mummified for the use of the dead in the usual way. This spell gets around the cone’s oily nature and preserves it for eternity.

Path of The Scarab: Scarabs were revered in Ancient Egypt because they rolled dung in a ball across the sand, like the way the sun travels in the sky. This spell has nothing to do with dung however. When cast, it will determine which direction the sun is currently traveling, even if it can’t be seen.

Protection of The High Priest: A bless spell that creates an invisible aura other priests or priestesses can sense and know who the recipient is protected by.

Quiet Underworld: A spell cast on the dead that ensures their passage to eternal life goes smoothly.

Set’s Summon Pimple: Creates an unsightly blemish on a foe’s face.

Skin of the Serpent: Covers the mage’s body with soft, supple scales all over which adds to their base defense against sunburn, sand blasting, insect stings, and chemical weapons that cause blisters or rashes.

 

Creepy Elves: Real or Fake?

I decided to have a little fun with my annual post on Christmas horror. Creepy-looking elves abound on the internet creating their own little Uncanny Valleys, and it’s just as easy for AI Art engines to make them as well, whether or not they were intended to be creepy. So I am trying an experiment. Below are a series of pictures, one is a real creepy elf, the other, a completely nonexistent one. Let’s see if you can tell the difference. (Answers after Read more)

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Masks of the Snow Queen, Part 1

The paperback edition that introduced me to the book

For many years my favorite science fiction novel was The Snow Queen by Joan D. Vinge. The book was a comfort read for me. I had read it so often I could quote it, and given a sentence or two from anywhere in the book, I could tell what came before, and what came after. It opened the 1980s with a bang. Although it won a Hugo and much praise, today it’s mostly forgotten. Which is a shame, because it had a humdinger of a concept and a huge cast of characters that would be perfect for a multi chapter series on Netflix or HBO, with CGI bringing the book’s wilder set pieces to life.

The plot is hard to describe, but here goes.

It’s space opera crossed with fairy tale, and much of the language has a lush, fairy tale feel. Basically, it takes after the Hans Christian Anderson story of the same name: two childhood sweethearts are separated after the boy gets a shard in his eye from a goblin’s shattered mirror and is lured away by the bewitching Snow Queen to be her companion. The girl sets off North to get him back, encountering many adventures along the way, and in time the two are reunited. The boy weeps, washing the cursed shard from his eye, and the couple, now adults and ready to marry, return home.

Vinge’s tale echoes that, but it’s also the story of the Snow Queen herself, who is the ruler of a cold planet called Tiamat that is mostly sea with a scattering of islands. Mers, immortal sea mammals, live there, and they are slaughtered for their blood which can be distilled into a drug to keep humans young. The drug is what makes Tiamat valuable to The Hegemony, an interstellar empire that exploits the planet for this resource. The Snow Queen, who also the drug, wishes to end their exploitation by cloning herself and passing the crown to her clone when her reign ends. You see, each Winter Queen gets to reign for only 150 years, and then the power is turned over to the Summer clan who choose a Summer Queen. At the end of another 150 years the planet cools again, ice and snow return, and so the does The Hegemony through the local black hole that is unstable during Tiamat’s long summer. A new Winter Queen is then chosen and gets to reign again, and the mer slaughter resumes.

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Worldbuilding Wednesday 11/30/22: Magic Items of Ancient Egypt

Some magical amulets of Ancient Egypt. (AI art)

Ancient Egypt, I’ve found, is so fascinating on its own that for fantasy writers and worldbuilders there isn’t a lot that needs to be created from scratch. The amulets above, for example, were created in about an hour using text prompts and various AI art generators. And ancient Egyptians did love their amulets. Any significant museum in the world will have a collection these. They were often wrapped up with mummies and magicked for different kinds of protection, but it’s likely they had other uses, as well.

A cursory reading on Ancient Egypt let me know what was important to these people: the rhythms of agriculture, the flooding of the Nile, the afterlife, the gods and goddesses. I think the ancient Egyptians believed they lived alongside the gods; they didn’t inhabit some far-away place like Olympus or Valhalla. Any magic-users among them would have been priests as well, or the priests would also have magic powers. The line between clerical and magic power would have been very blurred. Undead, demons, and devils would have been unknown to them. Only the Egyptian ruling elite, and priests, could read and write, so spellbooks would not be the norm, and as I said above, this would mean charms and amulets would be particularly important. Magic itself would be concerned with protecting the dead, ruling, crafting and building, and agriculture, and of course a few spells for self-defense or warfare.

 

Magical Items of Ancient Egypt

Amon’s Hearty Bellows: Ancient Egyptian metalsmiths worked with gold, iron, copper, and silver. These bellows, which feature a carving of the ram head of the god Amon on the handles, can quickly heat a forge hot enough to make the more advanced alloys of bronze, brass, and steel. In addition, the bellows protects the user from the flames and heat of the forge.

Cap of Pharaoh Snaaib: This simple head covering of woven reeds has several miraculous properties. 1) It confers maximum intelligence on the wearer and maximum wisdom; 2) allows the wearer to successfully brew any kind of non-magical healing herb tea; and 3) lets the wearer blind enemies by staring forcefully at them.

Heart of Neferku: This evil relic is the ruler’s actual mummified heart, stored in a painted clay jar. It is used to create such indolence, apathy, and lack of ambition in others that they have no defense against becoming the owner’s slaves.

Henna Hyena: This beast is drawn on a part of the magician’s body with henna and then enchanted. When commanded, it will leap out as a living beast under the mage’s control. If killed, it will vanish, but if not, it will go back to being a henna tattoo. The spell lasts as long as the henna inscription does. The hyena is strongest when freshly painted. Higher versions of the spell create a giant hyena and dire hyena.

Lunar Barque: An Egyptian boat, or barque, shaped like the quarter moon and gilded with silver. It can be used to travel through the sky.

Ra’s Whispering Smoke: This special incense, made with pine resin, myrrh, and ambergris, can be used to send messages over long distances. While it is burning, the user whispers a message into the smoke (no more than 50 characters) and visualizes the recipient; the smoke then flies away to wherever they are. The whispered message is delivered when the recipient smells the smoke. Note the spell is not 100% effective. Weather conditions, especially wind and rain, can affect it, and if the recipient cannot smell for some reason – e.g. they have a cold – the message cannot be delivered.

Ring of The Winged Anhk: This magic ring can be used to read the minds of others to find out their greatest desire, and also instill the love or favor of a certain person as the new primary desire of the victim. In other words, a forced love spell. The ring is carved from obsidian and set with gold panels. In one of these is the inlaid image of a winged anhk. On the inside of the ring are hieroglyphics that must be read to activate the love spell. If the writing is read backwards, love turns into hate, and the victim will stop at nothing to destroy the hapless object of their ire.

Scrollbeads: Each bead is the magically compacted form of a papyrus scroll. They are usually strung together on a necklace. In this way, a library’s worth of sacred knowledge can be easily transported on one person.

Shears of Sobek: These enchanted gold scissors sacred to the crocodile god can cut through crocodile hide with ease, enabling it to be made into shoes, bags, and other items.

Sidelock Fellowship: Young Egyptians wear their hair in a sidelock until they come of age. Cut off, enchanted, and preserved, the sidelock becomes a powerful magic item to give to a treasured friend. The two will be linked together until one of them dies, always knowing where the other is and how they are feeling. If the sidelock is destroyed or given away, the bond is broken.

Sistrum of The Vizier: While this magic instrument is played a petitioner’s request to the Pharaoh or Queen receives a higher chance of being granted. The chance depends on the player’s skill and choice of song, so it ranges between 20% to 90%. If the petitioner themselves plays the sistrum, no matter how badly, the chances begin at 50%. Several pharaohs have been dethroned by their ministers in this way.

Talon of Ammit: The Ammit is a creature of the Egyptian underworld that devours evil souls. She has the head of a crocodile, the forequarters of a lioness, and the back end of a hippopotamus. This finely crafted, bronze long knife acts as a  +2 blade with an extra chance of landing a killing blow – i.e., sending a soul to the underworld – with every strike. The blade of the knife is bronze and the handle inlaid with faience, gold, and turquoise.

Tooth of Shu: An amulet carved of a white, ivory-like substance that may or may not be an actual tooth of the Egyptian sky god, but it does allow the owner to levitate themselves and up to six other living creatures or once-living creatures, like mummies. Aerial travel is possible either vertically or horizontally, but not in curves or angles.

Volcanic Obelisk: Built of basalt, obsidian, or any other kind of volcanic stone, this structure stands at least 10’ high. It is carved with magic runes that heat it to the high temperature of lava just ejected from a volcano (2000 degrees F). It is often used to guard an area or thing. The obelisk can radiate heat continuously or be timed to a schedule; it can also be activated under specific circumstances, like someone touches it or the temperature falls below freezing.

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 11/23/22: Names of Ancient Egypt

The civilization of Ancient Egypt has enthralled the Western world ever since Napoleon’s forays down the Nile brought it to the attention of European scholars. Part of that was the indecipherable hieroglyphics that covered its temples, tombs, and monuments. Not until the 1850s were these translated into English, using cross-translations from the Rosetta Stone. In this way, much of the modern world’s knowledge of ancient Egypt came to light.

When speaking of the language, it exists in two forms: the written and the spoken. The written language did not use vowels, so what the actual spoken language sounded like is up for grabs. Experts think it was similar in sound to Amharic or the Egyptian Coptic language, but no one knows for sure.

Egyptian proper names, as in Hebrew, meant something. Tutankhamun, for example, meant  “the living image of Amun” Amun being the Egyptian creator god. The language likely drifted over the centuries with proper names staying the same, so it likely wasn’t as clunky as one might think. Context is everything; in modern English, a child named Grace or Max isn’t mistake for the normal use of the word. Egyptian names are cool enough by themselves so I decided to present a selection here instead of a randomgen, which really wasn’t needed.

These names are picked from a variety of periods, so should not be jumbled together if what you’re writing is meant to be a historically accurate depiction of ancient Egypt. For a fantasy or gaming use, though, they’re fine.

 

Ancient Egyptian Names

Female

Aat

Ahmoset

Amenia

Artakama

Behenu

Bintanath

Hetepheres

Khensa

Kiya

Menwi

Meritamun

Merti

Nebetia

Nebetta

Nofret

Pyhia

Satiah

Seshmetka

Tasherit

Tetisheri

Tiaa

Tyti

 Male

Ahedjib

Djedi

Harkhuf

Intef

Isesu

Kawab

Khui

Maathor

Minkhaf

Minnefer

Muthis

Neferku

Perneb

Psatik

Rahotep

Raneb

Seneh

Sihathor

Snaaib

Userkaf

Wahtya

Wetka

Dragon Waffle


I present to you… a waffle shaped like a Chinese dragon! AI art at its greatest.

Worldbuilding Wednesday 11/16/22: Let’s Talk About -ling

Isla Crown, Lightlark, YA novel

Poor Isla Crown who must eat human hearts to survive!
Well, not really. (Art generated by AI)

A few months ago, back in August 2022, the ARCs (advanced reader’s copies) of a YA fantasy novel, Lightlark, were released to selected readers and reviewers to generate some buzz. The author, Alex Aster, had generated plenty already. Already active on BookTok — the TikTok community centered around reading and authors — she’d been talking about her new novel for months, promising selective tropes, steamy love interests, Hunger-Games style action, and royal court intrigue.

Unfortunately, most of the buzz generated from people who actually read the book was negative. I’ll let this detailed thread in Reddit explain why, and this review explains the book’s many flaws.

One complaint of critics was that the fantasy naming system was laughably unoriginal. The protagonist’s name is Isla Crown, and — surprise! — she lives on an island, and is a princess and thus wears a crown. The other kingdoms in the book are named in a  similar Captain Obvious way. For example, there’s an island of sky-oriented flying people who dress in blue,  ruled by one Azul, which is Spanish for blue, and the name of these people are… Skylings! Get it?

In addition to the Skylings of Sky Isle, there are:

  • Sunlings of Sun Isle, ruled by Oro,  which is Spanish for gold. Gold as the sun.
  • Starlings of Star Isle, ruled by Celestia. Not the birds of the same name obviously. Again the ruler’s name relates to the stars or heavens.
  • Moonlings of Moon Isle, ruled by Cleo. Break in naming continuity.
  • Wildlings (try to say that fast) of Wild Isle, ruled by our heroine, Isla Crown. Another break in naming continuity.
  • Nightshades of Dark Isle, ruled by Grimshaw. A third break in continuity, but this time there’s a reason: Darklings would sound too much like the hero of another YA fantasy series.

As a writer myself, all I’ll say is, perhaps more imagination was called for. The author does not seem to have read much adult and classic fantasy. If she really was enamored of the names, however, she should have gone all-in on it. Cleo should be Luna! Isla Crown should be Salvaje, Gaia, or Amazonia! Nightshades should  just be called Darklings, or even better, Nightlings or Shadelings. It’s like the author grew ashamed of her own naming system halfway through the writing but didn’t have the cojones to make it consistent and really OWN it.

But all that got me thinking: just what does the suffix -ling mean, anyway?

There are are actually two meanings. The first, as used by Lightlark’s author, means “of”  “connected with”  or “belonging to.” Thus, Sunlings belong to the sun, or Sun Isle. In modern English, comparative terms are Earthling (popularized by Marvin the Martian), hireling, and underling. This usage came out of 14th century Old English, adapted from the same term in proto-Germanic.

The second usage, which is likely more familiar to readers of fantasy, is as a diminutive, which was introduced by Old Norse (which also came out of proto-Germanic) for the young of certain animals. For example, gosling for the young of a goose. But as it transferred to Old English — likely by Norse invaders — it began to take on the insulting tone of being young, small, weak, or inferior. Thus, stripling and princeling, which will be familiar to anyone who reads Legolas-centric Lord of the Rings fanfic where he’s captured, enslaved, or otherwise talked down to and abused.

For me, Sunling and the other -lings sound more like happy little elves than human characters. I wouldn’t have named them that way.

But, if you are writing fantasy and want to throw in some different races or species, how about these?

 

Some -lings that sound cool

Speedling

Dustling

Stormling

Lavaling

Saltling

Doomling

Waferling

Questling

Stoneling

Arseling

Spyling

Fieldling

Twickling

Breathling

 Charmling

Quickling

Liegeling

Broodling

Summerling

Impling

Witchling

Fluxling

Femling

Pleasureling

Gnomeling

Warling

Mistling

Snipling

Dragon Empress, Empress Dragon

At the top, Dragon Empress; at the bottom, Empress Dragon. Both AI variations on the same source art, with differing word order.