Reading Challenge 2022

My Authors Water Cooler Reading Challenge selections for 2022. The rules are: out of a list of 50 categories, the participant chooses 12, the idea being you read one a month, more as extra credit if you’re ambitious.

My challenges for 2021 and 2020 were, I’m sad to say, a bust. In 2020 I got through 6, in 2021, only one. I can only blame it on the stress of living through a pandemic in which I found it hard to concentrate and immerse myself in a book. That can be a whole other post on its own.

This year I hope I’ll do better!

1. Read it again, Sam: Reread a book you have already read.
At The Mountains of Madness, H.P. Lovecraft

One of my favorites for horro but I haven’t read it in many years.

2. Still time for more chapters: A memoir/biography by/about someone who’s still alive (as of January 1).
Wonderful Tonight, Patti Boyd

I found this one at a little free library. It should add to my Beatles knowledge. The Beatles were a living myth of my younger years.

3. Just the facts, Ma’am: Nonfiction on any subject.
You Look Like a Thing and I Love You, Janelle Shane

I was sooo looking forward to reading this when I bought it but I still haven’t!

6. Out of Africa: A book taking place in Africa (including North Africa).
We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow We Will be Killed with Our Families: Stories from Rwanda,
Philip Gourevitch

Heavy subject matter.

9. Coming to a theater near you: A book made into a major motion picture.
Blood of Elves, Andrzej Sapkowski

I’ve finished watching The Witcher series on Netflix (both seasons) so am interested to see how the book compares.

21. Three-color mythology: A graphic novel or comic book.
Locke & Key, Vol. I,  Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez

Had this one for a while. Goes with the Lovecraft theme.

23. Getting started: Read the first book of a series.
The Book of Three,
Lloyd Alexander

This series has always been praised to high heaven on every YA list, every fantasy list, from the 1970s forward. I want to see what all the fuss is about.

24. Continuing on: A book from any point in a series that is NOT the first or the final.
Kushiel’s Avatar, Jacqueline Carey

Another series I’ve been interested in reading. But this wasn’t the first book, to my chagrin. Still, it’s my belief that a series is only truly successful if it can interest the reader who picks up any book, not just the first one. So I’ll put that to the test.

32. Old world charm: A book taking place in or about Europe.
The World of the Castrati, Patrick Barbier

How to make a eunuch in three easy steps.

34. Tag team: A book by more than one author.
Roadside Picnic, Arkady and Boris Strugatsky

Another classic of SF that I just happened to find at a little free library.

36. Ye olde booke shoppe: A book written before 1800.
Saga of the Volsungs

Way way back.

50. Loose ends: A book you started last year and haven’t yet finished.
The Dragon Quartet, ed. Marvin Kaye

I still have to finish this one.

Black and White Swans

This lovely illustration, for the MG book series The School for Good and Evil, is by Italian illustrator Iacopo Bruno. It’s the cover art for the third book, The Last Ever After. Bruno’s previous covers were OK, but this one really knocks it out of the park with its black and white swans and twin female faces, one with black hair, the other white, who stare mournfully at each other with a sexual tension that brings to mind the psychological ballet movie Black Swan.

Here’s another of the artist’s illustrations.

Worldbuilding Wednesday 1/26/22: Highfalutin Magic Rings

I’m talking about the ones featured in The Lord of the Rings: sophisticated, powerful, conventional (in appearance) tools of mass destruction, masquerading as fine jewelry any 20th century European might want to wear. Foremost among them was Sauron’s One Ring, of course, of unadorned gold, with a mysterious script running around the inside as demonstrated so powerfully in the Peter Jackson movie. But there was was also Nenya, worn so prettily by Galadriel in the above Hildebrandt Brothers illustration, and Narya and Vilya. Vilya belonged to Elrond, while Narya turned up later on the hand of Gandalf. But neither played a role in the story like the One Ring and Nenya did.

This intentionally naive illustration by artist Jeffrey Scott demonstrates the hierarchy and powers of the rings. The seven Dwarven rings and the nine human rings were never named. The Dwarven rings didn’t figure into the series at all, while the nine rings served to bind their owners to Sauron’s will.

These rings, aside from the powers of Sauron, Gandalf, and Saruman (and that door into Moria) were the only manifestations of magic in the main series, and the delinations of those powers was all rather vague and the magic system never really spelled out. This didn’t hurt the books, though — it gave them a mysterious grandeur.

Back to that Galadriel illustration. Does anyone else see a resemblance to this painting of Cinderella (on the right) by the early 20th century artist Maxfield Parrish?

Outside of the fact that Cinderella’s plumper, the light effects and soft, sculptural quality are the same. I sense a fomenting inspiration here.

For all the Tolkien imitations that arose after the 1960s, the fantasy books I read, anyway — none relied so heavily on magic rings. Except C. S. Lewis in The Magician’s Nephew, but he was a contemporary not an imitator. Perhaps that would have been cribbing from the master too obviously.

In the spirit of Tolkien’s grandly named set of rings, here’s a few I randomgenned myself.

 

Singular Magic Rings

Iluyaë, The Ring of The Hunt, also known as The Ring of the Moorlands: This ring is made of polished bone painted with creatures of the moors and forests. It allows the user to command a pack of hounds – even supernatural ones – to scent out and pursue another creature, holding them at bay ready to be frozen by a Timestop spell from the same ring.

Vhusya, The Crocodilian Ring: Fashioned of tightly braided gold wire, it contains a small, clear crystal containing a crocodile fetus. The wearer is able to summon and command any kind of crocodile as well as becoming invisible at will.

Dokhyen, The Virgin Ring: Made of a strange greenish metal etched with ancient symbols, this ring gives the caster command over unicorns and breathtaking good looks… as long as they remain a virgin. Traditionally given to the Guard of the Sacred Labyrinth.

Bhulyest, also known as the Goldsmithing Ring: Made of gold set with a single yellow diamond. On the opposite side from the diamond is a mysterious glyph. The user can command any item of gold, making it move or fly, and given gold ore, can work it as well as a goldsmith.

Oshuyar of the Shoreline: Allows the wearer to summon and command lungfish, animate strands of seaweed, and create seafoam. They can also use magic portals to access other parts of the ocean. In the right hands, the wearer can even transform into a giant sea dragon. The ring is made of clear polished glass set with a purple gem.

Ocho-Abayë, The Ring of the Insect Shrine: Made of a brass-colored metal and set with a brilliant emerald, this ring lets the wearer summon swarms of poisonous centipedes.

Thiyest The Unseen Ring: This ring is completely invisible, but on the finger it feels like warm metal. When worn by a mage, it allows them to inscribe seashells with spells, so they can act similar to scrolls.

Jihayar, The Ring of Cacophony: Made of carved lava rock inset with gold bars, and crowned by a fire opal, this ring was given by the gods to a hero they once favored. It allows the user to command the element of fire, gaze at the sun or other light sources without flinching or blinking, and disperse and calm wild beasts. In addition, the wearer can petrify harpies, sphinxes, lamias, and other fell female monsters from Greek mythology. What the ring is most known for, however, is creating a loud noise that sounds like a group of armed men fighting to the death.

Nejya, or Nejya the Veiled: Made of a shiny metal like platinum and set with a glowing pale pink gem, this ring is powerful enough to defeat even fate. It allows to user to alter the destiny of any being emotionally close to them, saving them from a (usually bad) outcome: a sailor lost at sea will turn up hale and hearty, a friend turned into a vampire will change back, etc. Note that some gods or godlike beings will not like this power used so profligately.

Rhilya, also known as The Red Ring and The Red Ring of the Conqueror: Made by the Mage-King Axuyar to dominate an entire continent, this ring is made of a strange reddish metal with the Elvish glyph for “Highest” set in a dozen small rubies. Rhilya’s powers include enhanced senses of sight and hearing for the wearer, the ability to control harmonics, daemon summoning and command, the power to disperse shadows or gather them together, and melt any item made of bronze-grade metal or below.

Yar, The Ring of the Prairie: Yar is one of those rare rings that are actually sentient, and as such can communicate telephathically with its wearer. Yar knows everything there is to know about horses, and with it the wearer can locate, summon, command, tame, and ride any non-magical equine. In addition, Yar is capable of resurrecting a deceased horse once per week, and while wearing Yar the user becomes very strong and hardy, like a healthy horse. He or she can also act as high-level blacksmith to shoe horses. Yar is carved from a smooth, dark brown stone, purportedly a meteorite fallen from space.

Xiya The Unlucky, also known as Xiya The Unwelcome: Xiya is made from a single piece of ivory set with a large black pearl. On first glance it appears beneficial, granting the wearer eternal youth and beauty (they do not age, but may be killed) and lets them turn non-organic matter into dust. The bad part is, the wearer will develop a craving to eat members of their own species – eventually, they will give into  cannibalism. Thus the name “Unlucky.” If the wearer gives Xiya away before they taste the flesh of another, they will be free of the curse. However, it takes a very strong-willed individual to do this; most beings will become addicted to youth and beauty as well as the ring’s destructive power. Once the wearer becomes a cannibal, there is no saving them. They will eventually devolve into a primitive cave troll-like being and lose their intelligence and soul.

Shuvya: Pronounced shoov-yah, this ring lets the wearer become a satyr or faun. It’s carved from a piece of amber and set with three gems. While in faun form the wearer can create portals between any two doors on the same world. The doors can be inside, in wardrobes or carriages, or outside, like in gates – it doesn’t matter as long as they are doors.

Uleyaë, The Ring of The Atmosphere: Made of silver and etched with obscure symbols, this ring allows the wearer to summon and communicate with any creature that flies.

Khiphiyar, The Adoration Ring: Anyone who wears this ring will be cherished and adored. So much that, if they can’t handle the situation, they might be whisked away and kept captive by one of their admirers. In the right hands, however, the ring can be a potent tool. It is carved from a piece of rough rock and haphazardly set with small garnets.

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 1/19/22: The Best of Twittersnips (Playing in Another’s Sandbox)

Prince Thrindhöil of the High Elves strikes a pose

Very occasionally over the past years I’ve stepped out and created random characters for existing media —  books, movies, or even toy lines. Here’s a selection.

 

Franchise and fanfic characters

Middle Earth
(J. R. R. Tolkien)
Smerri Peachlake, Nol Bluffbuggin, Gosti Threeclasp (Hobbits)
Yevenglazar, a giant spider
Prince Thrindhöil
Gandian Graymurgh, a wizard
Islands of Earthsea
(Ursula K. LeGuin)
Mobossory
Lorbish
Omodor
Sosk
Elric of Melniboné
(Michael Moorcock)
Zakwash
Keernioth
Hraamborn
Draarnot
Athoch Naqueed
Ponlos Phaazith
Elfquest
(Wendy and
Richard Pini)
Firemoth
Raincaller
Frost-eyes
Transformers
Starspew
Schizoscooter
Hobagitron
Snorlax
The Bible
King Jansileshas
Teshoaz
Zosambros
Pokemon
Spagglespark
Rhadaroon
Simuroodle
Star Wars
Bhav Uvisp
Tal Avoch
Sol Avex
Drak Evid
Watership Down
(Richard Adams)
Othayfla-rah
Vaymarth
Thlayndro
A Land Fit for Heroes
(Richard Morgan)
Hithrek
Yemandrish
Ereman Garakis

Water Pug

pug crossed with a manatee

What do you call a pug crossed with a manatee?
A Pugong, of course!

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 1/12/22: Mermaids

Mermaids are one of those mythological creatures everyone thinks they know everything about, yet no one knows anything about. To begin with, in spite of a certain mockumentary, they are not real. I repeat, mermaids are NOT REAL.

You can see the resemblance, kinda.

Any sitings purported to be mermaids in ancient sailor’s tales and the like are probably of sea cows, manatees, or dugongs, sea mammals distantly related to elephants. They have a habit of lolling about with their heads and top parts of their bodies just poking above the water, and with the addition of seaweed, foggy sea air, and nursing young (the nipples of female manatees are located on their chests) they might have been mistaken for aquatic humanoid creatures. Very rotund humanoid sea creatures, as a female manatee can weigh up to 3,500 pounds. The skeletons, too, of these animals could be mistaken for a fish-tailed human, as the skulls of elephants were once mistaken for those of a Cyclops.

Add to this the Roman and Greek propensity for depicting humans, horses, deer, wild boars, lions, etc. with fish tails as decorative elements… and the occasional sirenomelia deformity… it’s no wonder untraveled Medieval people thought mermaids were actual beings.

mermaid with two tails from an early engravingMermaids from illuminated manuscripts and the earliest printed bestiaries were an eclectic bunch. Sometimes they had webbed feet attached to their torsos or snaky tails, affiliating them with female monsters like Lillith and lamias. Sometimes they sported two tails, like the milk-squirting one on the right, whose direct descendant is the crowned, smiling mermaid of the Starbucks logo.

When mermaids entered the realm of fine art, their visual depiction changed yet again. Now, instead of being fishes from the waist down, they are fishes from the groin down, leaving them with human buttocks and, presumably, sexual organs. I’ve never seen any speculation for the reasons for the change in the art world, so I’m going to blame the prurience of the artists’ patrons, and the availability of live female models willing to pose to satisfy it.

This 1900 painting by John Waterhouse seems to conceal the mermaid’s buttocks with a scaly skin, yet also hints her pubis and mons are bare, allowing a would-be suitor easy access. It’s perhaps the most iconic of mermaid images, her red hair inspiring the depiction of Disney’s heroine Ariel a century later.

And yet, as the twentieth century moved on, the mermaid’s fish scales marched back up to their waists again. Above is a slightly naughty postcard from the 1920s, showing some mermaid ass; below, Darryl Hannah in the 1984 mermaid romance Splash. Not a cheek in sight. I have yet to see an explanation for mermaid depictions losing their sexual parts, so I’m going to hypothesize one: Cosplay. It was only in the twentieth century that the materials rose into existence to actually make a functioning, fairly realistic mermaid costume. This meant not only being covered up for modesty’s sake while on display, but being swimmable as well, which required a strong, snug attachment through the waist and hips.

Let’s move on to mermaid names. There’s Madison, of course, named after Madison Avenue in New York and inspiring a generation of female children with that name. The magic-using mermaid in the 1960s anime Marine Boy was named Neptina in the English translation, after Neptune of course, while  Glynis Johns played a mermaid in the 1948 English comedy Miranda. The name doesn’t seem to fit a sea creature on first glance, but then, Miranda was also the daughter of Prospero in Shakespeare’s play The Tempest, who lived on a paradisiacal island.

The most famous mermaid of all, the woeful heroine of Hans Christian Anderson’s fairy tale The Little Mermaid, never even had a name. But Disney gave her one: Ariel. Which is patently ridiculous.

Number one, it’s the name of a winged air sprite in the aforementioned Tempest who has the power to cause storms and fly. Well, I can see the storm part for a mermaid, but Disney’s creation definitely did not fly or have wings. Second, it’s a name steeped in Jewish tradition, meaning “Lion of God” and mostly given to male children. A sequel to the Disney cartoon tries to justify this: Ariel is given six sisters, all whom have names beginning with A (Attina, Alana, Adella, Aquata, Arista, Andrina) implying that, as princesses of the realm of Atlantica, it is a Royal tradition. But even considering this, Aquamarina or Amphitra would have made more sense.

Anyway, you need a name for a mermaid, here’s a list of more appropriate ones.

 

Mermaid Names

Aguadelle

Atlanqua

Amphaë

Ampherica

Amphiothy

Atlantadora

Atlantira

Atolla

Bathyrica

Bentheena

Brineen

Brineuma

Bryneis

Coralily

Crustacia

Harbora

Hydroma

Isletta

Marinys

Naia

Naiellen

Nautoria

Oceanella

Pelagia

Piscina

Saltsa

Sandica

Sargassa

Scyllisa

Seasilk

Shellion

Thassaluna

Tidaline

Tritonisa

 

Go back! Go back!

This looks like a horrific clip from Terry Gilliam’s dystopian spoof movie Brazil, but it’s a photo of actual Chinese firefighters wearing special chemical-resistant suits.

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 1/5/22: Ladies of Arthurian Romance

Detail of God Speed, by Edmund Leighton (1900)

The women of King Arthur’s Court did not go on grand quests like the men did, but for their comparatively fewer numbers, they were big big drivers of the plots. In the most familiar version of the Camelot story, Guinevere cheats on Arthur with Sir Lancelot, creating a major conflict; likewise, Morgan le Fay, Arthur’s half-sister, has a one-night stand with him, birthing his illegitimate, incestuous son, Mordred, who becomes Arthur’s downfall. Vivien (sometimes known as Nimue or Ninianne) was a beautiful sorceress who was generous enough to give Arthur a sword, but later became the downfall of Merlin when the old wizard’s sexual pursuit began to annoy her. Other characters are Igraine, who was Arthur’s mother, and Morgause and Elaine, his sisters.

Like the knights, many ladies in chivalric romance were referred to by sobriquets. Vivien was known as The Lady of the Lake, and Elaine, The Lily Maid of Astolat and The Lady of the Pale Hands. The latter sounds odd and horrific to us today, but in Medieval times, having pale hands meant a woman did not have to work at rough labor in the field, which meant she was a highbred lady of quality.

Other ladies might be compared to flowers or jewels. Some were referred to by a certain item of dress, like C. S. Lewis’ character pastiche The Lady of the Green Kirtle in The Silver Chair, or even by what they lacked (The Beautiful Lady Without Mercy.)

The world can always use more Medieval ladies, so here’s a list.

 

Ladies of Arthur’s Court

Angrova of the Languid Neck

Lady Bleona

Lady Ulrynne

Lady Pelleviene of the Virgin Lips

Lady Ouidna

The Lonely Maid of Plumford

Queen Sigthra

Anvienne the Pure

Eldenore of the Golden Tower

Amadabella, the Lady without a Heart

The Dark Lady of Withywood

Lady Claudana

Maid of the White Arms

The Maiden of the Golden Slippers

The Maiden of the Iron Hood

Beldisoma Long-Hair

The Pallid Maid Of Pursewood

Lady Sigraine

Lady Damvra

Lady Glestrice

Queen Urna The Prideful

Queen Murriana

Saint Agnelyn of the Burnt Bosom

Yglieve of the Winter Hair

Saint Salgriana of the Gentle Panther

Brandwynn, The Lioness of Graffich

Henriana of the Dark Ruby

Luthsona, The Faithful Rose

Lyonriana, The Maiden Without Guile

Lady Blandnes

Hetwynd the Pale

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 12/29/21: Twittersnips 2021 (Spells and Magic Items)

This year, I structured my worldbuilding tweets differently. I stuck to spells and magical items for fantasy gaming, and the response was good. The magic ranged from the practical and logical (Amulet of the Whippet) to the elaborate (Curse of the Necromancer’s Feet) to the flagrantly useless (Sunshine’s Color-Changing Plum). Here’s the complete list.

 

2021 Spells


Actor Sleep:
Causes anyone performing in a play to fall asleep on stage, embarrassing them greatly. Can also be used by an actor to simulate sleep for a certain role.

Afneil’s Fur Cleanse: Cleans the fur of any creature, including magical ones, as well as items and clothing made of fur.

Anchor Ash: Anything within a circle formed by this magical ash cannot be removed by magic.

Angeline’s Glorious Set of Horns

Angeline’s Glorious Set of Horns: Gives the caster a large, polished, impressive-looking set of horns that would set any fae being to envy. Adds +2 to Charisma as well. (Depending on the ingredients, horns may be from deer, sheep, antelope, or cattle.)

Ashvage’s Tender Wave: Softens the crash of a huge wave or tsunami so it doesn’t hurt creatures or structures.

Badger and Blister: Creates an invisible force that intermittently – and when least expected – pinches, slaps, and pushes the victim, as well as creating small blisters on exposed skin as if live coals have been thrown at them.

Baleful Polymorph: Enchants a creature to transform into its opposite.

Banish Mangled Boots: Makes a pair of beat-up, worn-out boots disappear forever (even magic ones).

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Merry Christmas!