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Yes, it’s going to be another Summer of Narnia here on my blog! I’ll be tying up some loose ends from last year’s Summer of Narnia, as well as introducing new topics and insights I’ve found since then. Keep visiting!
Worldbuilding Wednesday 6/2/21: The Best of Twittersnips (Mythical Beings)
The Indian god Varune riding on a crocodile
One of the subjects I love randomgenning most are mythical creatures – demons, monsters, legendary beings, animals.
These names are culled from my Twitter feed, from the years 2017 – 2020.
Mythical Beings
| Satatareth, the Angel of Good Hygiene
Gembilath, the Angel of Decay Hestothy, the Demon Queen of Depravity Levibed: A demon that appears in the form of a handsome youth with seven genitals. According to legend, he gave mankind the gift of fire. Sclyaathin the Painbird: A demon that appears in the form of a baboon with a hawk’s head. He is guardian of the gateway to hell. Blastrin: A three-headed white stag with red flames for eyes. Gongcard: A huge anteater covered with reptilian scales. It has a blue mane and a long, narrow snout. Slythaput: A two-headed scorpion with poisonous earlobes. It has small flaccid barbels around its mouth and may be found near natural springs. Maggabed: A nature spirit with the head of a turtle and the body of a sea cucumber. Charaiesis: A bear spirit with a green fish’s tail and webbed feet. Trinoyree: A giant dog covered with pleated, naked skin that allows it to roll up into a ball. Phyfe: A giant turtle with scales made of liquid glass. Tyranafen: A vulture-like monster with eight legs and long, hairy eyebrows. Jellund: A strange frog-like monster with a tuft of white feathers on its head. It has a very dense body that feels the air pressure around it. Phoetrine: A goddess of War who takes the form of a voluptuous woman with the heads of two lionesses. Boudecima: A golem in the form of a winged maiden whose singing lures snakes out of human towns. Fenixmoon: A sky elemental that appears as a blue, winged serpent with a girl’s head. She bears the crescent moon on her brow. The Moon God Akkartou, and his brother, the Wind God Ekundar Dr. Nysariel, the Kettlejuice Demon |
Atompunk Space Junk
Except for the X-15, none of these space vehicles ever took flight. But that rocket at the top, slightly left of center, resembles this Space-X one.
Worldbuilding Wednesday 5/26/21: Strawberry Shortcake Dolls
Any woman of a certain age will recall Straw berry Shortcake and her friends, scent- and color-themed dolls that reigned over the girl-toy world of the early 1980s. But the titular character actually had her start years earlier, in the 1970s. In that granola-crunch world, she began as an illustration on a greeting card. Like many characters of the time designed to appeal to little girls, she was equal parts Raggedy Ann doll, Holly Hobbe, and Gunne Sax … a prairie girl ragamuffin toy. It was the tiny strawberries on her costume that made her appeal to consumers. So much so, she became a toy, then an entire line with villains, play pieces, and an entire world complete with “foreign” dessert-themed dolls such as Chinese girl Almond Tea and her pet Marza-panda.
Strawberry’s time in the sun lasted only so long, like her namesake. By the late 1980s she was history, her original fans having moved on, and younger girls being into different play things. Over the decades she has been redesigned and relaunched for following generations, with varying degrees of success.
But what if she had been designed for today? What reincarnations would she have?
Strawberry Shortcake Dolls (Upscaled Versions)
| Vanilla Waffle
Papaya Bun Pear Crostata Gooseberry Syrup Maple Roll Broccolini Quiche Kale Timbale |
Walnut Butter
Kiwi Bubble Tea Jicama Gratin Mango Mousse Cinnamon Crumbles Pineapple Cream Asparagus Tits |
Bejeweled
Skull covered in Swarovsky crystals
Worldbuilding Wednesday 5/19/21: Beatles Songs
The Fab Four in their Western cartoon version (above) from the 1965 Saturday morning cartoon, and an Eastern version of them as Japanese manga figures, below.
One thing about the Beatles is that their song titles evolved over time. Here’s a listing from A Hard Day’s Night, released in 1964:
And then Abby Road (1969):
What a difference six years makes!
The earlier songs titles were bland and did nothing to sell their catchy melodies. Looking at the tracklists for all the albums, you can see them gradually evolving, beginning with Rubber Soul which featured “Nowhere Man,” a standout folkish tune in content as well as title, and perhaps influenced by the American rock group The Byrds. (Here’s an article detailing the number of repeated words in Beatles lyrics.)
In 1995 the three surviving Beatles collaborated to finish a vaulted 1977 John Lennon track, “Free as a Bird.” Unfortunately, this title didn’t sound as exciting as the premise behind it. What if Paul, George and Ringo had chosen a different one?
The song titles below were randomgenned from existing titles, lyrics, and subject matter in Beatles songs, and in some alternate universe, give a hint of what could have been.
Lost Beatles Songs
| Lord Judas
All You Need is a Smile Promise Up I’m a Doctor You’re an English Boy The Story of My Shoe Poor Michele Brown Golden Castle Glass Sky Across the Lies Invisible Fool Summer Yellow Garden Darling on a Chain Rubber Man She’s Going to a Party |
Plastic Windows
A Lamp Gently Burning Black Onions Everybody Gets to Ride The Silver Screen of Prudence Penny I’m Only Wondering I’m Looking at Life Without You When I’m Rich Strawberry Snow Black Country Diamonds Your Plasticine Heart Your Blues Can Walk The Universe Shouts Across Her Lips Country as Parliament |
A Real Life Mecha
The “Beetle,” 1961.
This primitive mecha was designed for the US Air Force in the early 1960s to service the nuclear-powered bombers which were then on the drawing board. Needless to say, the nuclear bomber program was cancelled and these monstrosities were not needed after all. Today such work would be done remotely and without a human operator. Despite the smile of the cheesecake blonde those claws were more than capable of tearing her limbs off.
Worldbuilding Wednesday 5/12/21: Druid Magic
As prevalent as druids are in fantasy literature and gaming, very little is known of them from the historical record. What we do know comes from the accounts of the Romans who colonized Europe and Britain. They were famously derisive of the native tribes, seeing them as little more than uncouth barbarians, and also had an axe to grind as, thanks to them, the Empire’s frontiers were never as settled and stable as the Roman emperors hoped them to be. What we do know is this: Druids served as religious, cultural, legal, and medical authorities and held a high rank in Celtic society. Druid training was secret and they kept no written records.
In contemporary fantasy and gaming, druids are considered priests of nature and worship the elements. Here’s some randomgenned spells for them.
Druid Magic
| Heldagara’s Flattering Beard: Druids are known for their rough and ascetic lifestyles which makes their demeanor often ragged and unkempt. This spell cleans and brightens the beard of male druids and arranges it in an attractive way, adding to their charisma.
Heldagara’s Flattering Locks: As the above, but for female druids. Both can be used together for druids with long hair and long beards. Zinstry’s Spinning Leopards: Can a leopard change its spots? This spell causes leopards to rotate so rapidly their spots turn into a striped blur. Mystic Muscle: This special prayer amps the druid’s strength up to 18 while it is being chanted. Barrow to Barrow: A complicated and exacting spell used only by high-level druid leaders, this spell allows instantaneous travel between two or more barrows (xx) for the duration. Barrows must be still in use and fully consecrated for the spell to work. Oakscript: Carves a message or runes of any kind down the length of an oak tree’s trunk. Transform Magma into Seafoam: Useful when trapped by flowing lava. The seafoam also hardens and cools the lava surrounding the area. Transplant Dragon Hide: Strips the hide from a (hopefully deceased) dragon and transfers it to the skin of another creature, allowing them a dragon’s scaly defenses. The transfer is permanent and the hide will grow and maintain itself over the creature’s own skin. Vyvril’s Mild Milk: Makes sour milk drinkable again. Dominate Infant: Human infants are fussy and demanding creatures. This spell ensures they eat, drink, sleep, and defecate on schedule with no surprises. Wring Flesh: A torture spell that makes the victim fell as if their entire body is being twisted between two giant hands like a wet rag. Umberops’ Golden Calm: Induces an instant state of deep meditation for the caster or another. Centipede Cloud: This deadly spell creates a cloud of writhing poisonous centipedes and hurls it in the direction of the target. Attract Parrot: This minor spell will attract birds of the psittacine variety to the caster, even intelligent ones. Concentrate of Universal Refreshing: No matter what ails a creature, this potion will restore and refresh them. It neutralizes poisons, cures sickness, heals wounds, removes curses, and brings any being up to full energy and strength. |
Lost Robot
This eerie, sad-looking robot was designed by NASA in the early 1960s to test the viability of space suits for astronauts. Sadly, it was a failure and never used. But it’s Atompunk design at its most authentic.
Worldbuilding Wednesday 5/5/21: The Best of Twittersnips (B-Movie Madness)
Add an “e” to the end of Arous and you get Arouse. Subliminal advertising?
I have to admit this old poster is pretty creepy, not because of the flying brain with its two beady eyes, but the Satanic face of the child with its filed, oddly spaced teeth. At least, I think it’s a child.
Old, schlocky, crowd-pleasing, over-the-top movies are a special interest of mine, which is why I randomgenned a lot of them. From 2017 – 2020.
Imaginary B-movies
| Martial Arts |
Warrior of the Left Foot Way The Dirty Bodyguards Million Scorpion Revolution Monkey Kick Boy Siege of the Swordmasters |
| Science Fiction |
The Day Planet X Caught Fire Rise of the Venusians |
| Horror |
The Vault Raiser The She-Devil vs. Lucifer Frankenstein’s Cheerleaders Eye of the Wendigo The Zombie that Ate the 5th Dimension Dr. Death vs. Satan Killer Demons from the Pyramids |
| 1960s Exploitation |
Pussycat Ka-Pow! Vampire Love-In from Beyond Satan’s in the Streets The Rider Who Ran to the Demonstration It’s a UFO Orgy, Baby! The Love Bug Game |
| Warhol |
Turn Me On, Hustler |
| Noire |
The Jealous Hour |
| Israeli Comedy |
The Last Schnitzel in Golan Heights |
| Spaghetti Western |
The Last Lemon Tree in Mexico |