Worldbuilding Wednesday 5/19/21: Beatles Songs

The Fab Four in their Western cartoon version (above) from the 1965 Saturday morning cartoon, and an Eastern version of them as Japanese manga figures, below.

One thing about the Beatles is that their song titles evolved over time. Here’s a listing from A Hard Day’s Night, released in 1964:

And then Abby Road (1969):

What a difference six years makes!

The earlier songs titles were bland and did nothing to sell their catchy melodies. Looking at the tracklists for all the albums, you can see them gradually evolving, beginning with Rubber Soul which featured “Nowhere Man,” a standout folkish tune in content as well as title, and perhaps influenced by the American rock group The Byrds. (Here’s an article detailing the number of repeated words in Beatles lyrics.)

In 1995 the three surviving Beatles collaborated to finish a vaulted 1977 John Lennon track, “Free as a Bird.” Unfortunately, this title didn’t sound as exciting as the premise behind it. What if Paul, George and Ringo had chosen a different one?

The song titles below were randomgenned from existing titles, lyrics, and subject matter in Beatles songs, and in some alternate universe, give a hint of what could have been.

 

Lost Beatles Songs

Lord Judas

All You Need is a Smile

Promise Up

I’m a Doctor

You’re an English Boy

The Story of My Shoe

Poor Michele Brown

Golden Castle Glass Sky

Across the Lies

Invisible Fool

Summer Yellow Garden

Darling on a Chain

Rubber Man

She’s Going to a Party

Plastic Windows

A Lamp Gently Burning

Black Onions

Everybody Gets to Ride

The Silver Screen of Prudence Penny

I’m Only Wondering

I’m Looking at Life Without You

When I’m Rich

Strawberry Snow

Black Country Diamonds

Your Plasticine Heart

Your Blues Can Walk

The Universe Shouts Across Her Lips

Country as Parliament

A Real Life Mecha

The “Beetle,” 1961.

This primitive mecha was designed for the US Air Force in the early 1960s to service the nuclear-powered bombers which were then on the drawing board. Needless to say, the nuclear bomber program was cancelled and these monstrosities were not needed after all. Today such work would be done remotely and without a human operator. Despite the smile of the cheesecake blonde those claws were more than capable of tearing her limbs off.

Worldbuilding Wednesday 5/12/21: Druid Magic

As prevalent as druids are in fantasy literature and gaming, very little is known of them from the historical record. What we do know comes from the accounts of the Romans who colonized Europe and Britain. They were famously derisive of the native tribes, seeing them as little more than uncouth barbarians, and also had an axe to grind as, thanks to them, the Empire’s frontiers were never as settled and stable as the Roman emperors hoped them to be. What we do know is this: Druids served as religious, cultural, legal, and medical authorities and held a high rank in Celtic society. Druid training was secret and they kept no written records.

In contemporary fantasy and gaming, druids are considered priests of nature and worship the elements. Here’s some randomgenned spells for them.

 

Druid Magic

Heldagara’s Flattering Beard: Druids are known for their rough and ascetic lifestyles which makes their demeanor often ragged and unkempt. This spell cleans and brightens the beard of male druids and arranges it in an attractive way, adding to their charisma.

Heldagara’s Flattering Locks: As the above, but for female druids. Both can be used together for druids with long hair and long beards.

Zinstry’s Spinning Leopards: Can a leopard change its spots? This spell causes leopards to rotate so rapidly their spots turn into a striped blur.

Mystic Muscle: This special prayer amps the druid’s strength up to 18 while it is being chanted.

Barrow to Barrow: A complicated and exacting spell used only by high-level druid leaders, this spell allows instantaneous travel between two or more barrows (xx) for the duration. Barrows must be still in use and fully consecrated for the spell to work.

Oakscript: Carves a message or runes of any kind down the length of an oak tree’s trunk.

Transform Magma into Seafoam: Useful when trapped by flowing lava. The seafoam also hardens and cools the lava surrounding the area.

Transplant Dragon Hide: Strips the hide from a (hopefully deceased) dragon and transfers it to the skin of another creature, allowing them a dragon’s scaly defenses. The transfer is permanent and the hide will grow and maintain itself over the creature’s own skin.

Vyvril’s Mild Milk: Makes sour milk drinkable again.

Dominate Infant: Human infants are fussy and demanding creatures. This spell ensures they eat, drink, sleep, and defecate on schedule with no surprises.

Wring Flesh: A torture spell that makes the victim fell as if their entire body is being twisted between two giant hands like a wet rag.

Umberops’ Golden Calm: Induces an instant state of deep meditation for the caster or another.

Centipede Cloud: This deadly spell creates a cloud of writhing poisonous centipedes and hurls it in the direction of the target.

Attract Parrot: This minor spell will attract birds of the psittacine variety to the caster, even intelligent ones.

Concentrate of Universal Refreshing: No matter what ails a creature, this potion will restore and refresh them. It neutralizes poisons, cures sickness, heals wounds, removes curses, and brings any being up to full energy and strength.

 

Lost Robot

This eerie, sad-looking robot was designed by NASA in the early 1960s to test the viability of space suits for astronauts. Sadly, it was a failure and never used. But it’s Atompunk design at its most authentic.

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 5/5/21: The Best of Twittersnips (B-Movie Madness)

Add an “e” to the end of Arous and you get Arouse. Subliminal advertising?

I have to admit this old poster is pretty creepy, not because of the flying brain with its two beady eyes, but the Satanic face of the child with its filed, oddly spaced teeth. At least, I think it’s a child.

Old, schlocky, crowd-pleasing, over-the-top movies are a special interest of mine, which is why I randomgenned a lot of them. From 2017 – 2020.

 

Imaginary B-movies

Martial Arts
Warrior of the Left Foot Way
The Dirty Bodyguards
Million Scorpion Revolution
Monkey Kick Boy
Siege of the Swordmasters
Science Fiction
The Day Planet X Caught Fire
Rise of the Venusians
Horror
The Vault Raiser
The She-Devil vs. Lucifer
Frankenstein’s Cheerleaders
Eye of the Wendigo
The Zombie that Ate the 5th Dimension
Dr. Death vs. Satan
Killer Demons from the Pyramids
1960s Exploitation
Pussycat Ka-Pow!
Vampire Love-In from Beyond
Satan’s in the Streets
The Rider Who Ran to the Demonstration
It’s a UFO Orgy, Baby!
The Love Bug Game
Warhol
Turn Me On, Hustler
Noire
The Jealous Hour
Israeli Comedy
The Last Schnitzel in Golan Heights
Spaghetti Western
The Last Lemon Tree in Mexico

Megabibliophobia

.

What do you call the fear of large libraries?

 

Eclipse-Part-II-by-Jie-Ma

Eclipse Part II, by Jie Ma

 

massive-library

I don’t think this place is real, but I’m not sure….

 

Titanic-Library

The Library, by Laurent Menabe

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 4/28/21: Supermarkets

 

Supermarket, early 1960s

Supermarket, 1990s

How merchandising has changed. The top view from the 1960s shows inefficient reach-in freezers that wasted energy and pink, pastel signage. Thirty years later, food display centered around kiosks, from which customers selected fresh-prepared offerings for dinner. (The pic is from the now-gone Seattle chain Larry’s Market.) With COVID-19, intimacies such as these are now in the past, and who knows if they are ever coming back?

This illustration from the 1950s is oddly prescient, save the consumers compile their orders from home.

Anyway, back on topic, grocery stores are probably mentioned by name more than any other type of business establishment.  “I’m going to Safeway. Need anything?”

These names tend to fall into three categories. First, those named after the founders: Ralph’s, Wegman’s, Albertsons, etc. If the founder is still alive, they will often represent themselves in advertising media.

Then there are the obscure ones, like A&P, an abbreviation of The Great Atlantic and Pacific Tea Company, which is a mouthful. Two Guys, Piggly Wiggly, Pathmark, Acme, and Publix follow this style. If you didn’t know they were grocery stores, you’d be hard-pressed to figure that out. Acme, through no fault of its own, found itself identified with the supplier of Wile E. Coyote’s malfunctioning roadrunner-catching gadgets.

Then, there are the names easily recognizable as food suppliers, with magic words like fresh, shop, market, and the like, such as Foodland, ShopRite, and QFC (Quality Food Center.) These are the kind I was after here, if you need an imaginary grocery store chain.

 

Supermarket Chains

Food Diamond

Star Fresh

Freshland

FarmersMark

City Farmer

Rebel Mart

Thrifty Fresh

Country Box

Shopping City

Prince Saver

Castle Fresh

Cart Topper

Sooper Wolverine

Country Turtle

Markdown City

Thrift Crazy

Sand Dollar

Spy Buy

Food Ferry

Fresh Creek

Food Trails

Fresh Berry

Queens Natural

Farm Friend

A Devilishly Good Pizza

Fresh from Satan’s oven.
(Cover art for
The Bad Samaritan by Robert Barnard)

Dissing on The Dispossessed

I’m not going to snark on the book itself here, only the covers. But in doing so you’ll learn a fair amount about the book!

First of all, this one, which to my mind is the classic one.

It’s grand, sweeping, colorful, exciting. It boils the tale down to its basics: two worlds, very different, close but not touching. One is blue and green, lush, parklike. The other is a cratered red moon, which, though it looks uninhabitable, has an oxynenated atmosphere with white clouds. Purple and blue swirl between the two like auroras. Alex Ebel, the artist, has literally incorporated all colors of the rainbow. The tilted typeface adds to the dynamism.

Though it looks real enough to be literal, it’s representational. The landmasses of Urras, the lower world, do not correspond to Ursula K. LeGuin’s map of the planet, and the surface of Anarres doesn’t either.  Like the novel itself, it’s meant as an allegory of the Cold War, the division between capitalism/West and communism/East. It’s an Atompunk novel through and through in how it examines ideologies and allegiances and what happens when a groundbreaking scientific discovery shakes things up.

As such, the technology of The Dispossessed lies firmly in the Atompunk age. Though there are spacecraft capable of interstellar travel, they are limited to the speed of light and take years to reach other systems. On-planet, there are no cell phones or widespread computer use. The lifestyle on Urras, the Earthlike world, is that of Western Europe in the 1970s. Travel is by train, there are still quaint chocolate shops and mountains like the Alps where sheep are still herded by villagers, as well as political riots and revolution in the “African” country of the opposite continent. This isn’t quite a failure of imagination on LeGuin’s part, as the whole novel is allegorical, in a sense.

The planet of Urras. The only map I could find was in Spanish.

There’s also an amusing depiction of a college faculty party the hero of the novel Shevek, the physicist inventor of the ansible (basically, a real-time interstellar radio) which skewers the various “types” one might see at such a party, and at which Shevek thoroughly embarrasses himself by vomiting into a tray of hors deuves after being led on by his patron’s hot-to-trot sister, Vea. Le Guin spend more than a little time in acadamia, remember, and the novel also works very well as a send-up of two different university systems.

Anarres, also in Spanish.

Anarres has more land than water, so  it is more arid. Despite this, the Russian feel to it is very strong. When a famine hits, it reads like a Gulag run by the prisoners. Anarres tries to be independent of its parent planet, Urras, but for things it can’t produce itself, it trades metals and minerals from its mines. No one owns property on Urras. No one even has the concept of owning property, as when the settlers left, they invented a whole new language which struck out the words for it. There’s no marriage and children are raised in a kibbutz system. (Hmm, come to think of it, it’s more the early days of Israel than the glory days of the USSR.)

Anarres also is limited to 70s era technology. As in the movie Colossus, there is a master computer system that helps run things, such as assigning work and allocating resources. The computer also gives children their names, simple, randomly-generated words of five or six letters each. It’s not explicitly stated by LeGuin, but the reader can assume that for an anarchist, non-governed society, an impartial AI is the way to go over humans with their powerlust and egos.

This later cover has the same design as the Alex Ebel one and captures some of its vitality, but the palette is blah and so are the planets. This Anarres doesn’t even have an atmosphere, and where are the seas? It looks like Earth’s cratered, gray moon. And what what’s that red shadow, a coming eclipse? That wasn’t in the book.

(Actually, Anarres and Urras were described as “The Cetians” — because their star was Tau Ceti —  with the implication they were a double planet system that revolved around a common center of gravity known as a barycenter.  Though one planet might have seemed like a moon to someone on it opposite. In the novel Anarres is repeatedly referred to as “the moon” which, while not incorrect, isn’t really technically correct either.)

This cover is one of those WTF ones that has nothing to do with the contents of the book. I suppose the artist was told it contained Machiavellian political machinations, so he or she depicted literal Machiavellis in a psychedelic Peter Max style. Whatever.

Needless to say the characters in the book didn’t dress like Medieval Italians in floppy velvet hats and embroidered tabards. Anarres has no fashion at all, that concept having been eliminated with the concept of property, and I can’t even recall LeGuin even wrote what people wore there.

Urras fashion, at least in the nation of A-Io where the action takes place, is described as being very different than Earth’s, both for contrast with Anarres and to add a touch of exoticism that lets the reader know this is an alien society. Both sexes shave their heads completely and women wear long, pleated skirts with bared breasts, which they cover up with a shawl when in public. Makeup, high-heeled shoes, and jewelry are also feminine attire — gemstones in navels and magnetic gems which stick to the skin. (In LeGuin’s later short story “The Day After the Revolution,” also set in A-Io, the attire of Mand, another kingdom of Urras, is stated as long kilts for men and wide trousers for women. ) Anyway, the only thing I see on this cover related to what’s in the book are a computer and a bald-headed person, but one has nothing to do with the other.

Now if you want fashion, here’s fashion.

This Romanian cover depicts Vea, the bored sister of one of Shevek’s Urrasti patrons who tries to seduce Shevek at a cocktail party. Alternately, she could be a representation of the whole “decadent” society of Urras. The artist correctly depicts her shaved head, bared breasts, and shawl, but livens them up with clunky jewelry to look more exotic. She’s posing before a… well, I don’t know what it is. Maybe an ansible, the device Shevek invents. There’s the prow of a Viking dragon-head ship in the background as well as a spacecraft. This certainly livens up the text.

This cover is equally wacky, coming across more like Dune, with a blimp. In fact dirigibles are mentioned as being used on Anarres, but only in a throwaway line in one paragraph. I suppose the man is supposed to be Shevek, the book’s physicist hero, but he looks more like Stillgar with his stillsuit and noseplug that’s flying loose.

A much better depiction of Shevek, plus the maps! Shevek looks a lot like tortured proto-punk singer Iggy Pop here, but with a monastic feel as he looks skyward in trepidation. Nice job.

There’s a whole bunch of covers like these which are plain dull, consisting of a planetscape, sun, and moon. There’s not much to be said about them except they are all typical of this one. I bet it took all of two minutes for the art director to create.

This cover tries to connect a piece of common street graffiti to the novel. But the anarchism in the book, and the anarchism espoused by street artists, are two very different concepts. It seems like a ploy to lure readers in, frankly.

This Spanish cover has the same urban feel but it’s miles more effective. It depicts the novel’s ending line, “… but his hands were empty, as they had always been.” The open hand, unclothed male torso, and blue chalky strokes create a melancholy but powerful image.

This Turkish cover also does a fine graphic job, depicting a variation on the twin planet theme by depicting an anthropomorphized sun face with a whimsical moon looking back. But it doesn’t quite fit the mood of the book.

This French cover is… uh… another Viking ship, this one with a naked lady prow, and she’s wearing a horned helmet? The spacecraft behind it sports some kind of solar sail, which is mentioned fleetingly in the book, but overall, this image is just inexplicable.

I’ll close with this piece of fanart by Melissa Elliott.

Click to see larger

 

 

 

 

Worldbuilding Wednesday 4/21/21: Fill Your Bookshelf

The Bodleian Library at Oxford University

Sometimes when you DM or write fantasy, you need to list books in a character’s library.  Books that sound obscure, magical, historical, singular. Tolkien has his imaginary Book of Redmarch, Lovecraft his Necronomicon and Pnakotic Manuscripts. Here’s a randomgenned list of some more.

 

Library Books, Fantasy Style

A Man’s Tome of Migford

Four Books of Uvasus

Violet Libram of the Albino

The Dracburn Grimoire

Tome of Command

Whistler’s Almanac of 1032

The Rhondash Encyclopedia

The Blue Book of Scarplum

The Book of Graylion

Whipping Bible

A Chanting Guide to Salgain

The Rejuvenating Omnibus of the Monks of Kessinweep

Book of the Becalmed

The Lovewood Guide to Canine Behaviors

The Brisingap Album

The Fifty Books of the Jinsingramin

Green Almanac of the Dwarf

Book of Bright Stars

Falgar’s Nine Folios of Evil and Corruption

The Unfinished Manuscript of Clanverloss

Myrlandra’s Book of Spycraft

The Clytebant Folio

The Scarlet Text of Ruddinester

Impal’s Almanac of Illusory Substances

The Well-Read Spellmaster’s Book of Advanced Fabrication

Lovedark’s Monograph

Treatise on Drunkeness and its Relation to Small Insects

The Caratheon Book of Legendary Heroes

The Nine-form Ledger

Eugata’s Treatise on Advanced Geometry

Tome of Greenglaze

The Dark Book of Nunsark

The Iplan & Fess Guide to Illusions

The gaming site DndSpeak has a list of more (admittedly on the parody side, such as Alice’s Adventures in the Underdark).