Jimmy Olsen, Superman’s pal, got up to all sorts of trouble in the 1950s, so much so that he had his own comic. This was one of the milder issues. Note the comics authority code at the upper right, probably the reason why such bizarre storylines became commonplace — violence and mayhem had become definite no-nos in this decade.
Some magical items are very useful to the recipient. Some are cursed, or useless. But more often than not they have a minor kind of magic, helpful in a certain situation. Here are some of those items.
| The Wizard Kift’s Small Dirt-kicking Satyr: A diminuitive statue of a satyr that comes to life on command, kicking dirt in the faces of the wielder’s targets.
Jesserine’s Philtre of Feline Acrobatics: When a drop of this is poured into a feline’s drinking water, they will amuse their owner for hours with their gymnastic shenanigans. Minchzar’s Sketching Book: A minor but very prized item that allows the user to sketch creatures in the nude even if they are wearing clothing. Philtre of Gentle Harmonizing: This potion enables the drinker to sing background vocals even if they have no singing talent. Cuff of Rebellion Containment: When worn by a teenager, this piece of jewelry ensures they will not talk back to their parental figure(s). Invisible Hummingbird: Circles around a target’s head and pokes at their scalp with its beak. Lute of Catastrophe: When this cursed magical instrument is played nothing but boos and catcalls come from the audience. Glaive of Nasal Defense: The wielder of this weapon will never suffer any damage to their nose. Helm of the Curmudgeon: When worn this cursed object causes the wearer to kvetch constantly about unimportant things. Box of Soothing Gold: This small wooden box contains a gold powder that, when sprinkled on burns, rashes, or insect bites, soothes the irritation. Can be gathered up and re-used. Despite appearances it is not real gold. The Orange Notebook of Disguises: Contains 5 to 20 pages each featuring a mask that can be cut out of paper. When worn, the mask creates an illusion of disguise on the wearer’s face. However, the illusions are not very good. There is a 50% chance any onlooker can see through it. Chance decreases with distance, however. The masks are mostly of humanoid creatures: elves, goblins, humans of various ages and races, and they do not affect the wearer’s clothing or body. Mace of Scratching: Looks like an ordinary mace, but can extend itself to offer soothing relief to itches anywhere on the wielder’s body. Can also be used as a weapon though it is non magical in that regard. Fragrance of the Fox: This ungeant is usually found in a small metal tin. The waxy substance, when applied, will make the wearer smell exactly like a fox, which is to say not very good. But it is useful for passing undetected through the woods. Lasts 12 hours.
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Isn’t this guy a shady character! He’s got a buckskin and pointed ears like the mythical satyr but no hooves. Peter Paul Rubens, 1638. On display at The Prado, Madrid. |
Here’s something you don’t see every day: a gender-reversed Victorian couple!
Steampunk as a genre got its start with The Difference Engine and The Diamond Age, both set in a alternate world Victorian England. So, it bears to follow that Steampunk characters have English language names that were popular during that time. There are no hippy names like Rainbow or Phoenix in Steampunkland, and neither are there Jasons and Jennifers, Ryders and Reillys. It’s all very very Anglo and to modern ears a bit stuffy.
There’s some steampunk fiction using non-Western settings, like India orJapan, but for the average Western reader the antique luster of the names is not readily apparent. To a native of that land they would be, so I advise asking one for advice should you be writing in that setting.
Here’s a list of randomly generated names for English-speaking Western-oriented steampunk. As many steampunk characters are adventurers, inventors, or nobility of a sort, I included titles.
| Female
Millicent Flora Lesshe Sister Edna Ulska Luisa Rachel Isfield Miss Samantha Clothmeadow Theodosia Ann Sinclair Epona Lovar Hollylock Dr. Anthea Leergold Mary Vandermilk Thea Saltwold Lady Eglantine Norwood Professor Iphigenia Westley Ada Mabel Gutch |
Male
Sir Ronald Answith Zachariah Willows Fletcher Phillip Lectrostan Commodore Trajian Telljoy Captain Simon Lexhart Alonzo Brass Angel Hillary Poorgarden Ensign Lucius Lovebloom Morris Wyckant Professor Atticus Edgar Hoosier Constable Reginald Bloodnought Israel Alexander Woolson |
Even rats like to dance.
In the past few years, the American consumer knows that Autumn is here by the number of pumpkin-flavored food items that become available. Starbucks has led the charge with its pumpkin-flavored lattes and now (delicious, trust me) pumpkin frappucinos. There are also pumpkin doughnuts, pumpkin cereal, and pumpkin M&Ms. But all this obscures the true nature of the pumpkin: it’s a respectable food on its own merits, never mind the spicing and sweetening.
Looking for a pumpkin flavored dish? Here are some random ones.
| New York-style pumpkin chowder
Paella with chicken livers and brown rice cooked in a traditional Peruvian pumpkin pan Stir-fried beef tenderloin and fish in a spicy Szechuan pumpkin sauce Casserole of layered pumpkin and gelatinous sea cucumber Pumpkin noodles topped with ground goat, served in a pistachio nut-pumpkin gravy Basic rolled crepes, filled with breaded, toasted pumpkin Creamy pumpkin cheesecake flavored with red wine syrup Stir-fried duck and clams served with 100-year-old pumpkin Omelet made with mashed beef brisket, pumpkin, and wheatberries Pumpkin-infused turkey prepared whole with fresh cherries Pumpkin and broad bean ice cream Chicken breasts stuffed with bleu cheese and pumpkin, slow-baked in a clay oven Sandwich of thin-sliced prawns on a crusty roll with southwestern pumpkin mustard |
Basic Cooked Pumpkin
Pie pumpkin
Butter or olive oil
Salt
Quarter pumpkin and scoop out seeds and stringy pulp. Place skin side down in a baking pan lined with aluminum foil. In each hollow place a generous pat of butter, or olive oil if you prefer a more savory taste. Sprinkle with salt. Roast at 400 degrees to desired level of softness, using a fork to test. Usually takes 40 minutes.
Pumpkin is a good side dish served hot. You can also make tacos out of it or even use cold and sliced in salads. If mashed for baking use, use butter instead of olive oil.
What do skeletons dream about when Halloween has passed?
A Night on Bald Mountain parade of damned souls and evil witches, of course!
Still from the silent movie Haxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages, 1922
Witches are a staple of fantasy and horror fiction. In their broad definition, they mean any kind of magic-using female. But for this list I’m going to use a more narrow definition: the Halloween type of witch, evil, cackling, out to do no good. The kind that brews potions in a big black cauldron and has warts on her nose.
Such a witch often has a conventional name, but more often, a name with something off about it, one that is too old fashioned, too hard to pronounce, too ugly on the ear. A classic one is Bellatrix LeStrange from the Harry Potter books. How can a character have a name like that and not be a witch?
Then there are made-up names, like Bavmorda, Azkadelia, and Elphaba… strange to say and, in English, strange to look at on the printed page. Those are the kind of names I generated here.
| Zoralia
Betrezza Malna Chanagri Suvaya Gethga Zija Tatrabella Bezabelle Marifor Luprys |
Solza
Hundrene Murvia Yamba Anguza Ullena Mazubal Mitzra Yezabyl Rozibal Yatra |
Scarecrow and Tin Man from a 1902 stage production of The Wizard of Oz. I don’t know what makes it more creepy, the old-timey photo or the Scarecrow’s stiff-fingered, Leatherface-like appearance. In its time, though, it was a great success and the first version of Oz to be adapted into a script.