
You talkin’ to me?

You talkin’ to me?

The Love Potion by Evelyn de Morgan
Potions are essential for RPG fantasy gaming. They’re like a Get Out of Jail Free card, useful for a player in dire circumstances to cheat fate by teleporting themselves away from a foe or healing fatal damage. But they can also do other things.
From my twitter feed, some favorites I created. “Potion” refers to anything liquid or semi-liquid that can be carried on one’s person.
| Captain Astrit’s Dark Rum: Often found in pirate dens, this drink causes an alignment change to pure evil as long as the imbiber remains intoxicated.
Dawncream: When rubbed on the user’s face, it makes them feel as if they have just woken from a good night’s sleep. Distillation of the Dragon: This very rare potion can substitute for any dragon body part (scales, fangs, etc.) that is an ingredient in magic. It has no effects when drunk. Infusion of Wholesome Sweating: Potion that lets the drinker experience the benefits of sitting in a steambath for an hour. Potion of Endless Dallying: When ingested, this cursed potion makes the drinker needlessly delay whatever action they next take. Potion of Marvelous Fangs: The drinker’s canine teeth become two four-inch fangs for the duration of the spell. Can also be used to reduce the length of longer fangs. Potion of Slow Teleportation: Teleports the caster from one place to another, but with a time delay. Cheaper to make than regular teleportation potions and useful for non-urgent situations. Thanamierto’s Water of Dwarf Stamina: Gives the drinker the constitution of a dwarf for 12 hours. Thorska’s Elixer of Healthy Elimination: Useful when one is constipated. Tincture of Lightning: Magical potion containing the essence of a lightning flash. When uncorked, the flash re-occurs in the immediate area. |

She’s got the power of the atom, Communist China, and tornadoes on her side.

Top to bottom: Platybelodon, a prehistoric elephant; Opabinia, an extinct arthropod relation; and the modern Saiga antelope.
Talktotransformer is proving to be a potent tool for me. I usually have to run things through a few times, and fine-tune and collate the results, but am mostly assured of a fecund list. By which I mean a list that makes the mind wander, cooking up possibilities (and story ideas) for people, places, and things.
Running a list of animals both real-world and me-generated created the creatures listed below. Some sound reasonable (Mississippi Batfish) others slightly off (Honeyeater Puffbird) and others, “no way in hell could this exist” (Dangerous Walking Tarantula). But, considering the animal kingdom of today and its forebears, there was more than a little WTFuckery going on in real life anyway. Consider the Platybelodon elephant above with its abnormally long jaws, the five-eyed Opabinia, and Asia’s Saiga antelope, an otherwise-normal looking antelope with an inflated nasal cavity. Makes you think, doesn’t it.
| Honeyeater Puffbird
Soggy Cur Black Gleaming Li-Ang Red Chested Perkin Pionus Black-Inbred Tiger Cervid Ostriche Blue-cheeked Racoon Dangerous Walking Tarantula Gloomtooth Beetle Red Tuttabot Grimclaw Primitive Poachie Haervo Berrybush Cheeky Lobel Super Fine Tuned Fondue (Tuna) |
Little Brown Bat-Orca
Longear Whale Blackest Graybear Sunkissed Kestrel Rat Tail Sharpy Subpanda Cast Iron Nautilus White-legged Krait Wyrmscale Hydra Ealdarmere Habib’s Gizzard Shrimp Mississippi Batfish Gray Aurora Behemoth Muscoth Makeshift Roundworm |

The Hand of Glory, made from the preserved hand of a man hanged for murder,
was a potent magical item. Coated in the deceased’s body fat,
with a wick made of his hair, it was said to unlock all doors.

A pair of jaglions (Jaguar x lion hybrids.) The darker one surprised the breeder with its black coat, but jaguars are known to carry a melanistic gene.
As I demonstrated last Wednesday, it’s pretty easy to come up with a name for a novel species of carnivorous mammal.
Now let’s turn to the feline world, and the naming conventions of big cat hybrids. The “big four” Panthera species (lions, tigers, leopards, and jaguars) are all capable of interbreeding with each other, as well as with pumas. Smaller cats, like the serval, ocelot, and bobcat, also hybridize, even with felis catus, the domestic cat – this has led to the rise of several new domestic cat breeds, like the Bengal with its spangled coat. Surprisingly, there is no scientifically accepted way of naming these hybrids, at least not yet. Breeders mostly wing it. One convention is to combine the first syllable of the male feline’s name with the last syllable of the female’s name, thus creating the well-publicized liger (male lion, female tiger) and tigon (male tiger, female lion.) This usually serves, except when it doesn’t. The jaguar-lion hybrids in the above photo were named jaglions by their owners, and another jaguar hybrid was called the jagulep (jaguar x leopard cross.)
But, in my own randomly generated world, I am going to adhere to the liger convention of naming, for the most part, and also assume that all feline species are capable of interbreeding and producing viable offspring. Here’s a list of feline species if you don’t recognize some of the names. I used both puma and cougar to the refer to the same animal. Because leopard and cat are the second part of many smaller cats’ names, which adds confusion, for these the first name refers to both male and female. Oh, and for snow leopards, snow serves as the first part, for the male, but uncia — the species name — for the second female part.
| Boncilla (M bobcat x F oncilla)
Caracelot (M caracal x F ocelot) Caracion (M caracal x F lion) Caracloudal (M caracal-clouded leopard x F serval) Carager (M caracal x F tiger) Careetah (M caracal x F cheetah) Cheeger (M cheetah x F tiger) Jagopard (M jaguar x F leopard) Jagreetah (M jaguar x F cheetah) King Cheetiguar (M king cheetah x F tiger-jaguar) Leocarilla (M leopard x F caracal-oncilla) Leomareetah (M leopard x F margay-cheetah) Leperval (F leopard x M serval) Liocougatigon (M lion-cougar x F tiger-lion) Lioguar (M lion x F jaguar) Liojaglynx (M lion x F jaguar-lynx) Lionarble (M lion x F marbled cat) Lioneetah (M lion x F cheetah) Lyngar (M lynx x F cougar) Lypuma (M lynx x F puma) Lytiger (M lynx x F tiger) Marcloud (M margay x F clouded leopard) Margalot (M margay x F ocelot) Margampa (M margay x F pampas cat) Marjaguar (M margay x F jaguar) Maruncia (M margay x F snow leopard) Oceray (M ocelot x F margay) Oncipalla (M oncilla x F pallas cat) Pallabob (M pallas cat x F bobcat) Pampard (M pampas cat x F leopard) Pampeetah (M pampas cat x F cheetah) Pamperval (M pampas cat x F serval) Pumalion (M puma x F lion) Sermapalla (M serval x F margay-pallas cat) Serserlynx (M serval x F serval-lynx) Serunciasnowger (M serval-snow leopard x F snow leopard-tiger) Servalynx (M serval x F lynx) Snowger (M snow leopard x F tiger) Snowpard (M snow leopard x F leopard) Tiguar (M tiger x F jaguar) Tilynx (M tiger x F lynx) Tipardelot (M tiger-leopard x F ocelot) Tipuma (M tiger x F puma) |

by Todd McLeish
University of Washington Press, 2013
[Challenge # 22 : A book taking place mostly or all on water.]
My first choice for this category, Blackfish City, didn’t work out, so I subbed Narwhals one after noticing I had saved it to my Seattle Public Library reading list.
I am a sucker for reading books about cetaceans. Some of my favorites include Of Orcas and Men: What Killer Whales Can Teach Us, by David Neiwart, and The Whale: In Search of the Giants of the Sea by Philip Hoare. Guess I should read Moby Dick sometime soon, eh? Anyway, not only did Narwhals promise to shed light on this poorly studied species of whale, it was also set, coincidently, in the same area of the world the previous STIQ (screw-this-i-quit) book was, namely the arctic waters around Greenland and Baffin Island. This was my favorite part of book. The author’s descriptions were sumptuous and made me feel I was really there. That was lacking in Blackfish City.
I wish the book had been more scientific and less anecdotal, though. The author’s journey was interesting but I really wanted to read about the whales, not his journey of discovery about them. And narwhals are interesting; as the author points out, they are the only species of whale exclusively dwelling in arctic waters (they don’t migrate out like some whales do) and therefore are the most impacted by global warming. They also have what no other animal on earth has: a spiral ivory tusk that spawned the legend of the unicorn. This aspect alone would have made an awesome book, as writer Christopher Kemp did with another whale byproduct, ambergris, which is, if you don’t know, a form of sperm whale poop that has undergone a sea change by floating in the ocean for months or years. The tusk does merit its own chapter focusing on its purpose for the whale. Scientists traditionally assumed, as many still do, that it is a sex-linked trait: male narwhals use it for dominance battles and to impress females. But this doesn’t explain why some female narwhals have it too, and why some whales even have two of them, and why no one has ever seen the whales actually fighting with it. The latest theory is that the intact tusk, being a giant tooth with pulp and nerves intact, acts as a sensory organ to gauge airflow, ocean chemistry, and air pressure, which, at the time of the book’s publication in 2013, was still very controversial.
The book also mentioned narwhal-beluga hybrids, confirmed recently by the discovery of this skull. The beluga whale is the narwhal’s closest relative, and since the narwhal is toothless, and the beluga has teeth, the hybrid possessed its own unique dentition with which it was able to exploit a new food source and grow to maturity. This is exactly how new species arise.

In recent years narwhals have ridden the unicorn’s train of popularity to become cute, cuddly cultural icons in their own right. Notice, though, how the horn has moved to the forehead instead of piercing the whale’s upper lip…which would probably be too freaky for young children to contemplate.
And while it has no bearing on the content, I want to give a shout-out to the book’s cover designer, who has created a simple, effective, design that harks back to the three-color ink paper dustjackets of the 1950s which employed strong, eye-catching forms.
All in all I did enjoy my time with the book and it served to wash out the bad taste of Blackfish City, which you’ll probably hear more about.